i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
