i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
