It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
