I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
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Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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