I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
