its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize