Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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