This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
