it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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