I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
