apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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