I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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