i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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