I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She bit a glass in half.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
