She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
