sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
