he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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