forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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