HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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