Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
