Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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