I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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