i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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