ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
