I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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