first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
