Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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