At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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