I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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