I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
