Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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