Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
