You're my little dorito
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
