that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I didn't notice because vodka
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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