So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
