My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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