if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
