I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
