Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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