and you said cock pushups were impossible
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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