oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
