Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
