In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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