The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
