Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
