Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
