She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.