Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made