he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
