no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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