There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
