I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize