i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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