Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
