Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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