I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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