this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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