it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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