and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
