Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
